A COVID loss: anger, grief, and healing

The COVID-19 pandemic has been raging for many months now, marked from the onset by lies about the disease, its origins, its treatment, and its prevention. No aspect of the pandemic has been free from controversy and misinformation. In the middle of flame wars and whack-a-mole efforts to squelch anti-vaccine, anti-mask internet sites lies the confusion and grief of those who have lost loved ones to this disease (over 700,000 in the US and 4,800,000 worldwide).

Like many others who believe in science, I was first puzzled and then appalled by the cloud of outright falsehoods that grew up around vaccination. Refusing the vaccines based on illogical and unfounded internet rumors struck me as downright suicidal. Equally troubling were the friends who bought into those lies.

One was a long-time, very dear friend, who had supported me through dark times and whom I had supported in turn. Early in 2020, L told me that she didn’t trust the mRNA vaccines and besides, she thought she’d had a mild case of COVID-19, although she was never tested. But she was diligently wearing a mask at work, and it was clear that further discussion would only be confrontational, so I backed off. For the next year, all appeared to be going well. Then she moved to another part of the country, one with low vaccination and mask-wearing rates. I heard from her while she was waiting at an urgent care center for a persistent cough. Her COVID-19 test was positive. A few days later, she was admitted to the ICU. We talked and texted frequently as her condition deteriorated. After a week and a half, she was placed on a ventilator. She died two weeks later. Her last text to me was, “I love you.”

During her hospitalization, I felt not only growing concern for her, but anger. Anger at so many things. After her diagnosis, I wanted to scream at her, “How could you fall for that conspiracy nonsense?” Then my fury spread to everyone who spread those lies, manipulated statistics, and otherwise terrified people into refusing the one thing proven to save their lives. Anger at the last administration and the former president, who failed to take action at the onset of the pandemic. Anger at the officials in her state for their lax measures and cavalier attitudes to the virus. Anger at everyone who touted ineffective remedies in order to make a profit. And most of all, guilt that I hadn’t pressed the vaccine issue harder and been persuasive enough to save my friend’s life.

Grief mixed with anger and guilt isn’t logical. Nor is it simple.

Short Book Reviews: The War of the Djinn

A Master of Djinn, by P. Djèlí Clark (Tordotcom)

What a luscious book! Part mystery, part thriller, part love story, part alternate history, set in 1912 Cairo. A generation ago, a great magician styled Al-Jahiz opened the door to the realm of supernatural creatures like djinns and angels. In response to the influx, the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities acts as police, investigators, and regulators. Enter Fatma el-Sha’arawi, the youngest woman working for the Ministry, who is called to investigate the murder of a member of an aristocratic British cult devoted to Al-Jahiz. That same legendary figure is now stalking the city, gaining ever more numerous and more violent followers. Perhaps his most terrifying power is his ability to control the djinn, even those integrated into human society. Even the mightiest of demons. (Even the charmingly OCD djinn Ministry librarian.)

Balancing breathless action, escalating peril, and plot twists with quieter human moments, evocative details of daily life in an invented world, and the slow unfolding of the heart is always a challenge. Pace and momentum, though, are not the only story elements that hook a reader and keep us going. Clark succeeds on all levels, using effortlessly vivid prose, multi-dimensional characters, and gorgeous world-building.

 

Auntie Deborah Answers Your Questions About Writing

In this installment, Auntie Deborah discusses writing a first draft, the unfairness of publishing, and when to run away from a publisher's contract. 

Dear Auntie Deborah: How can I prevent myself from constantly trying to edit as I draft?

Auntie Deborah: You’re halfway there in understanding why it’s important to plough through that draft so you can look at the whole thing when it’s time to revise. It’s tempting but (for many of us) deadly to halt forward progress and nitpick. Here are a few strategies that have worked for me:

• Beginning each session with reading the last page or so but not making any changes in it.
• Reminding myself that the only draft that counts is the one on my editor’s desk. And that what looks like an error may point me in the direction of a deeper, richer story, so I need to preserve all that drek the first time through.
• Reminding myself about author B, whose work I greatly admire, who told me that no one, not even her most trusted reader, sees anything before her third draft.
• Giving myself permission to be really, really awful.
• Falling in love with the revision process. I can hardly wait to get that first draft down so I have something to play with.
• Writing when I’m tired. Believe it or not, this helps because it’s all I can do then to keep putting down one word after another.

All that said, sometimes editing is the right thing, like when it feels as if I’m pushing the story in a direction it doesn’t want to go, or I’ve written myself into a hole I can’t dig out of. Usually that means I’ve made a misstep earlier, not thought carefully about where I want to go. Or whatever I thought the story was about, I was wrong, and the true story keeps wanting to emerge. How do I tell when this is the case? Mostly experience, plus willingness to rip it all to shreds and start over.

Dear Auntie Deborah: How do you come up with names for your characters?

Auntie Deborah: Sometimes the novel and its setting dictate parameters for last names. For example, if I’m writing a science fiction novel about Scottish colonists on Mars, I’m going to look at Scottish last names.

Often the character herself will suggest a last name, either based in ethnicity or personal traits and history. An aging hippie might have changed their last name to Sunchild or Windflower or Yogananada. A family trying to erase immigrant origins might have a last name like Smith or Jones.

And then there’s the telephone book (do such things still exist?) Or the credits for a really big movie, the ones that go one for screen after screen after screen. Do be careful when using real last names, though. If they’re too different, they might be identifiable. Just use the lists as prompts for your thinking.

Another strategy is to look at first names and then use them as last names. (My middle name is Jean, which was my mother’s last name, so the reverse could also be true.)

That said, always do an internet search for the name you’ve chosen. Even if you aren’t aware of others with that name, it’s good to know.

Short Book Reviews: Heroic Hackers Save the Fae

Phaethon, by Rachel Sharp (Pandamoon)

When a new tech company releases a smartphone that’s light-years beyond previous models, customers line up to be the first to own it. Jack and Rose, hackers par excellence, join the throng with the purpose of cracking the tech, stealing the code, and making it all available online in a sort of underground people’s tech empowerment. The Phaethon phone does things no device has ever been capable of. Not only does it make and receive phone calls, take photos, search the internet on voice command, but it interacts creatively with its owner – and it flies. The puzzle deepens as Jack digs into the primitive, outdated code and Rose opens the case to find junk parts that shouldn’t be able to do anything, let alone do the incredible things it can. What gives? As they delve deeper into the mystery, they stumble upon Phaethon’s incredible secret; the phone is powered remotely by a tiny magical creature. Soon they’re drawn into a world of mythical beings, friend and foe alike, and must take sides in a war not only for the control of fae but the future of the human race.

I loved it. I loved Jack and Rosie, both as quirky nerdish individuals and as a long-established loving couple. I loved their friends. I loved the way the mystery unfolded, step by page-turning step. It’s intelligent, compassionate, and just plain fun.

                          

Short Book Reviews: A Skunk, a Badger, a Magical Egg, and A Chicken on a Mission

Egg Marks the Spot (Skunk and Badger 2), by Amy Timberlake (Algonquin Young Readers)

I adored the introduction of Skunk and Badger (Skunk and Badger), at first unwilling housemates, who become fast friends. Badger is a fussy, hyper-organized Important Rock Scientist who resents any interruption of his routine, while Skunk is expansively friendly, speaks to cryptic chickens, and cooks gourmet meals. Skunk’s one obsession is the New Yak Times Book Review. That’s really all a reader needs to know before embarking upon their next adventure: a camping trip. The trip proceeds along hilarious lines, with Badger calculating the exact weight of every multi-purpose article in his neatly organized pack, and Skunk throwing in pots and pans, fresh produce, and other items on which usefulness he and Badger disagree profoundly. This, then, is the essence of their friendship: how the differences supply each other’s blind spots.

Needless to say, the camping trip quickly takes several unexpected turns with an obnoxious bully from Badger’s past, an incredible find in a cave, the secret mission of chickens, a bivalve moving company, and much, much more. The characters are endearing, the action lively, the prose deliciously inventive, and the deeper themes of friendship, loyalty, and courage shine through. 

A splendid book for the whole family to read aloud!