Elsewhere on the net, a talented new writer made a comment about
the damaging effects of another person's behavior. We can encounter destructive
relationships in every area of our lives, but when it comes to our creativity,
they can be particularly nasty.
Some people write in isolation. Either they aren't naturally
sociable or they find that critical feedback simply isn't helpful. Most of us,
however, create some type of support system at some stage of our careers. Often
it's early on, when we're struggling to learn the craft. We may find a
face-to-face group or an online workshop or other network of fellow novices.
The internet provides a wealth of opportunities to meet such people, as do
conventions. (When I was starting out, there was a wonderful workshop-by-mail
run by Kathleen Dalton-Woodbury; I'm still friends with some of the writers I
met by exchanging letters and written critiques.)
Most of the time, beginning writers are honestly trying to help
one another. We may make mistakes as we learn how to give useful critical
feedback or make idiotic suggestions about marketing, but the basic
relationship is one of good will and support. Success, however small the sale,
becomes an occasion for celebration. When one member improves, we all feel
encouraged.
Trust is a crucial element in such groups. We work hard to learn
to accept criticism, to not be defensive, to take time to think through the
comments. While this vulnerability makes us more teachable, it also leaves us
open to manipulation and abuse.
Sadly, sometimes the people we thought were our friends and
supporters, our colleagues and conspirators in the adventure of creating and
publishing stories, turn out to be our most insidious adversaries. Sometimes,
the alarm comes in the form of a sinking feeling, a sense that verges toward
futility, after a discussion with a particular person. Other times, we realize
that once again, we have been lured away from time in which we intended to
work. Often we have no idea how that happened. We want to think well of our
friends; we believe their words even when their actions speak differently.
