In light of the Epstein Files revelations, the charges against Rep. Swalwell, and my past association with Marion Zimmer Bradley:
I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault and adult rape.
I stand unequivocally with my fellow survivors. I believe their stories,
because mine is one of them. Overcoming the pain, self-blame, and paralyzing shame
often requires time for those stories to come to light, but they are no less
true. In my case, as for many others, survival meant shutting off my gut reactions
to dangerous people and situations. What happened to me as a child was only the
first incident, but it left a lingering conviction that I was never allowed to
say NO. When I look back at my association with Marion Zimmer Bradley, which
also involved contact with her ex-husband, the convicted pedophile Walter
Breen, I knew on some level that the household was profoundly unhealthy. I wish
I had been able to listen to my instincts and sever all contact when I realized
what he was and that, although divorced, they remained close. I am horrified that
Breen had any contact at all with my children. I assisted the police in their
investigation of him that led to his incarceration, but that does not alter my
responsibility.
I was overwhelmed by the revelations about Bradley herself. It was not until later, when I grappled with
my own history of assault and denial, that I was able to face the truth. I deeply
regret that I did not come forward sooner or add my voice to those of other
writers in condemning the sexual abuse and exploitation of children. I am doing
so now.
The violation of children (and adults) – both by the
perpetrators and those who enable them – is a betrayal of the most fundamental
human trust, that of children for the adults who ought to care for them. Those
like Bradley who know of such crimes and do not take action, or who participate
by procuring children for pedophiles, are just as guilty because they could
have stopped the abuse, they could have protected the innocent and spared them decades
of nightmares, and they failed to do so.
If anything I have said or done in any way excuses Bradley
or any other pedophile or pedophile enabler, I truly regret it, and I ask for
your understanding.
Regarding my posthumous Darkover novel collaborations:
Under the auspices of Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Literary
Trust, I wrote nine Darkover novels. The writing is mine, but because she
created Darkover, her name also appears on the cover. After the allegations
came out, I fulfilled my existing publishing contracts. There will be no more
Darkover novels written by me. The decision to reject works by an author who
has done reprehensible things is a personal one. However, it was and remains my
hope to make the Darkover series available to readers who loved it, written by
someone other than Bradley.
I want to send much encouragement after reading your email and blog.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I grew up in the late 50's , 60's and 70's. I had no idea ugliness like that existed. I learned of it later.
Having said that,
YOU are a being of Light and Live.
YOU are a being of Light and Goodness.
YOU are not the people who hid away evil actions, and who enabled evil actions purposefully.
YOU are Light and Love and Goodness. ♥ Thank heavens we have you to inspire us!
Thank you so much for your loving, understanding reply. Your words bring healing.
DeleteDear Deborah, as a survivor myself I agree with everything you've written here in your blog. Was it MZB's crime to procure victims for her husband? If so, do we convict mother's, abused themselves, powerless in the face of a patriarchy that doesn't seem to acknowledge its own privilege, or stand against itself and its own inherent violence?
ReplyDeleteMZB's Darkover Series is profound, if not prophetic, for women and women's place in the world. As a young woman, her novels changed my life, offered deeply thought out, controversial themes that resonate today. Even more, today. I'm mainly talking about The Shattered Chain, Thendara House, and City of Sorcery. It should be standard reading fare in the curriculum of high school students, both young women and young men.
I did not personally know MZB, as you did, but I understand she had choices and did not make the right ones. What are women's choices really, though? She may have been a victim of coercive control, her soul so shattered (by him) she thought she needed him. It's not enough to say she did "reprehensible things." In the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes, justice is meted out with a deep understanding of the whole situation. Unfortunately, in this sound-bite civilization we've created, we don't take the time to understand. MZB will take the fall, because she is the more notable one, for a man whose consequences (prison) pale in comparison.
Cathryn, Thank you for your generous reply. The situation with regard to Marion herself is a bit more complicated. Here's a summary from The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jun/27/sff-community-marion-zimmer-bradley-daughter-accuses-abuse
DeleteThank you for your honesty and integrity.
ReplyDeleteI understand that survivors process their trauma at the rate that their body, mind, and soul can handle. Usually slowly. And it's not for anyone else to judge.
I still have my Darkover collection, but I will probably never reread (except your contributions).
I'm looking forward to your new books.
Ruth, thank you so much for your kindness and understanding. Your words bring healing.
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