For the past decade or so, whether Chanukah falls in early
December or overlaps Christmas, I have wrestled with the meaning of the
holiday. I grew up in a devoutly secular Jewish family, although my father used
to tell us stories of the holidays. It wasn’t until I had children of my own
that observing Jewish customs became important to me. Their father, my first
husband, came from a family that celebrated Christmas as a paean to
overconsumption, an amalgam of showering each other with cheap gifts and
gorging on indigestible food while sniping at one another. In our own home,
however, we would have a modest tree, a modest meal, and presents that had
something to do with the interests of the recipients.
So where did Chanukah fit it? For one thing, when my kids
came along I decided not to compete with Christmas. No big gatherings. No
tinsel. No horribly unhealthy meals. And no
presents. Instead, we turned off the tv, and gathered around to light the
candles and stumble through reading the blessings. We’d play dreidel using Chanukah
gelt (foil-wrapped chocolate coins) and take turns reading aloud from a
collection of funny children’s Chanukah books. The hands-down favorite was Eric
Kimmel’s Herschel and the Hanukkah
Goblins, although his The Chanukkah
Guest came a close second. One of the appeals of Herschel was the way the dialog of the goblins lent itself to silly
voices as Herschel outwitted them one by one. Needless to say, the kids loved
reading together and playing games as a family. Years later, they told me that
they didn’t want to give the impression they didn’t like getting presents for
Christmas but they liked Chanukah better.
As the kids grew up, and I divorced and later remarried, I
found myself re-evaluating the holiday. I hadn’t celebrated it as a child and I
no longer had children to delight. By this time, my own Jewish identity had
become increasingly important to me. What did this holiday mean, beyond a way
of enjoying the winter in a non-specifically-Christian way?
I started reading the story behind Chanukah, and that’s when
my troubles started.
