Autism is my worst writing enemy,
and my best writing friend.
Writing characters is a challenge in my fiction writing because I am autistic. I have great difficulty
writing believable, consistently inconsistent
characters. These are the kind of characters that say one thing but do
something opposite, whose motivations and actions do not match; in other
words, who act like real people.
What
does my autism have to do with my character writing problems?
Everything.
Conventional writing wisdom says
that characters need arcs; they must change over some way. This makes no sense
to me. Why does a character need to change? I don’t change.
I’m told to write believable,
realistic characters—consistently inconsistent characters. Inconsistent? That’s
not how my mind words. I’m a “Say what you mean, and mean what you say, please”
person.
What motivates your characters? What causes them to act, or
react in a certain way? How do other characters respond to her? What motivates
a character? I don’t know, in fact, what motivates people. People are strange;
they make no sense.
Struggling to understand
character’s motivations highlights how much I don’t understand people. How
completely and totally mind-blind
I really am; how I can never figure out what makes people tick. Although my
mind-blindness hinders my ability to write effective characters, my autism
gives me many writing advantages.
There are aspects of the autistic
brain that are wired perfectly for effective writing.
The autistic writer is
literal-minded by neurology. Our brains are hard-wired to think and take words
literally. Remember Amelia Bedelia the literal-minded maid who continually
misinterpreted instructions to comical effect? Amelia must have been autistic.
We have an innate need to get to
the point, no chit-chat, no small talk—give me the facts and let me get on with
my day. The need to get to the point makes it easier to filter the “noise” out
of our writing, to say what we mean, and mean what we say, and to do it
quickly.
Autistic people tend to focus on
details rather than the whole. That makes us very detail oriented. The need for
exactitude causes our writing to be rich in accurate details that many people
often miss. An apple cannot simply be
red, what kind of red was it? Crimson, candy-apple, garnet, burgundy, ruby,
blood red—what color is blood red exactly?
A bird could not simply fly past
the window; it had to be a particular type of bird. “Bird” is not enough
information. Was it a finch, a sparrow, blue jay, hummingbird, robin? What kind
of bird was it exactly? I needed no training in specificity that came
naturally. This is one time that fixating on the details worked for me—well,
most of the time.
The natural focus on details and
the unique character of each element poses problems. We can lose sight of the
whole picture, project, or direction of the book. We become lost in our scenes
or fixated on minute details that derail the whole writing day.
Point of view is another area in
which autism is a writing gift. If I had a choice I would write everything from
the first person point of view. It comes completely naturally. It is easy to
report only what is in my character’s mind, steering clear of divulging details
she could not know or things she cannot see.
In fact, the often-warnedabout “head jumping” (shifting from one
character’s viewpoint to another’s, often within the same scene) never happens
to me. I can’t head jump! I don’t have
any idea what is going on in other people’s heads.
Of course, not having a clue about
what is going on in other character’s heads creates problems. Reading fiction,
and a lot of it, is helping tremendously. The author gives me social clues that
I wish had in real life. A glimpse of what different characters are thinking,
and feeling, and their motivations for their actions. If only life could have a
narrator like that!
Character Writing Turned Into
Theory of Mind Exercises.
Theory of Mind is the ability to
understand that other people’s feelings, intentions and desires are different
than your own, and then interpret, infer, or predict their actions. It is a
fundamental understanding that their actions are based on their inner feelings.
Autistic people often lack or have great difficulty with theory of mind.
Writing fictional characters
challenges my ability to understand people and predict their actions. It allows
me to “practice” theory of mind skills in a safe environment free of social
pressures. I am free to be me, to fall down, and commit social blunders in the
privacy of my own pages. Misinterpreting other people’s intentions or actions
does not have real-life consequences.
Being autistic, having a brain that
is wired-differently, brings other writing challenges. The need for perfection,
to stick to the writing “rules” without breaking them, as well as, rigid
inflexible thinking are all hurdles I need to leap over.
The need for perfection makes it
difficult for me to write something and let it go. It is never done; never good
enough. At the same time, my inflexible rigid thinking, inherent to autism,
makes it hard to edit words already on the page. I can’t finish a piece because
I need to edit it to perfection, but I can’t edit because the words become set
in stone on the page.
What are my solutions?
I reserve writing fictional
characters for therapy and theory of mind exercises, and focus on non-fiction.
I am currently writing about my experiences with autism both before and after
diagnosis. I am practicing all the elements of fiction writing -- scenes,
dialog, plot etc. -- without having to wonder what is rolling around inside my
character’s head because that character is me, and I know what I was thinking. Unfortunately,
the other people around me had no clue.
In order to practice writing and
letting go, I decided to blog my book—publishing each excerpt as I write it. It
has been an exciting, and terrifying experience to write a page, or chapter and
then hit Publish, thereby opening yourself up to comments and criticism.
Readers are giving me feedback along the way, and keeping me motivated to
continue.
Autism has given me many writing
advantages. The roadblocks constructed by my autism I will continue to leap
over, burst through, and knock down. My blogged book, Twirling Naked in
the Streets-and No-One Noticed, is a memoir of sorts about my growing up
with undiagnosed autism. I would love to have you follow me through my journey,
and peer over my shoulder as I write.
About the author: Jeannie Davide-Rivera describes herself as " a writer, student, and stay-at-home mother of three, stumbling through
life with a form of Autism called Asperger’s Syndrome (AS)." She says, "My book, Twirling Naked in the Streets-and no-one noticed, is
about my life growing with undiagnosed autism. All of my life I was
searching, trying to find a glimpse of me in the world; I found none.
There were no books, no TV personalities, no friends that were like me.
No where did I see a reflection of myself in this world. Since
diagnosis all of that has changed, I now see words on pages of books
that “look” like me. I communication with others who say, “ya, that
happened to me too,” and THAT has changed my life. My only hope is that
your or someone you love will see themselves on the pages of my book,
and know that they are not crazy, and more importantly, they are not
alone." For more information, click on her blog here.
Sharing a news :-
ReplyDeletehttp://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/features/people/1535536/Asperger_s_syndrome_so_what_.html
I've known about my own aspie condition since 1998. Here is a story about an autistic musician:
ReplyDeleteRichard Freeman-Toole
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1570492-Sam-Kates-Aspie-Sax-Song-part-1
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1789738-Sam-Kates-II-Chanson-Iconique-Part-2
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1789736-Sam-Kates-II-Chanson-Iconique-Part-3
Hi Deborah!
ReplyDeleteExciting update this morning! Twirling Naked in the Streets is now available on Kindle!
Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Twirling-Streets-Noticed-Undiagnosed-ebook/dp/B00CB4WZT2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1365675700&sr=1-1&keywords=undiagnosed+autism
Hi Deborah,
ReplyDeleteI have returned to this post in order to remember where I was more than three years ago. Today I am working on my application to a MFA program in writing, fiction, after completing my BA. I'm excited but am trying to remember "my story" so to speak, to remember where and how this crazy writing rollercoaster all began. :)