But what about writing? This is the new part. Are there things about writing in general, publishing, career, my own work, that intimidate me? Are there things I do or don't do because of fear? A few obvious fears I can cross off my list. I'm not afraid:
- Of having a book or a story rejected.
- Of receiving a harsh review.
- Of making a fool of myself on a convention panel.
I have moments of self-doubt, in which my thoughts go in unfortunate directions, prompting me to believe, if only for a moment, that nothing I've written is any good, I can't write my way out of a wet paper bag, and no one will ever want to read my work again. Fortunately, these moments are so brief and so easily made ridiculous, I don't categorize them as fears.
However, I am afraid:
- Of letting myself get talked into wasting precious years on a project that's not meaningful to me.
- Of not having the courage to tackle painful or controversial material.
- Of dying before I tell the stories in my heart.
Talk about dying? Better, talk about living, about falling in love with every story, even the most fanciful. About letting that love, that joy, shine through. These things are, after all, ephemeral, but the memory of having experienced them is not. After all, today is all any of us have. This present moment. This present story. This scene. This word. This unfolding of the heart.
The illustration is "Fear" by Maria Yakunchikova.