World War II cast a long shadow, and my generation was born
in the aftermath. Then the shadow burgeoned into a decades-long frenzy of
terror of communism. The Soviet Union was the incarnation of evil, of course, and
war was ever imminent. Not just any war, though, for the atomic genie had been
released from its bottle. The world came perilously close on a number of
occasions. In between crises, every international twitch was scrutinized,
analyzed, and dissected. Meanwhile, we kids were practicing “duck and cover,”
as if hiding under a school desk could protect us from a nuclear blast.
Presidents came and presidents went, and the threat of
annihilation waxed and waned but never left us. We focused on smaller wars
where we had the illusion we could actually change the world. As it turned out,
all those protest marches against the Viet Nam War did make a difference in the
end, although at the time it didn’t seem so. In retrospect, I believe the sense
of powerlessness and insignificance caused as much damage to our confidence in
the future as any military threat. Which is not to say that the threat of
nuclear war was not real, but rather that my generation internalized it in a
way that left us vulnerable to being triggered by other events.
Humans aren’t very good at estimating the relative danger of
various things. We exaggerate some risks and minimize others. Some dangers
frighten us out of all proportion to the odds of them happening to us. We
casually ignore other things that are much more likely to injure or kill us. The
possibility of war and its affect on us, personally and nationally and
globally, is no exception. We panic or we shrug or we pretend or we drive our
fears into our subconscious minds, where they erupt as irrational behavior or
nightmares.
For me the first strategy in deciding how to respond to news
– a perceived increased threat of war– is to understand that I do get triggered. I have had frightening experiences before. When I’m discussing the
news with someone not of my generation, it’s a good idea to keep that in mind.
I’ve learned that I am much more likely to catastrophize when presented with
certain information than in other circumstances. I remember early in this
president’s tenure being suddenly terrified of a war with North Korea. That
wasn’t my rational, analytical mind, calmly evaluating risk. It was my
terrified child mind, remembering things I could not understand. Remembering
the fears of the adults around me, and not very good at separating “that was
then, this is now.”
I count myself fortunate in having been able to discuss
current events with those same adults, mostly my parents. In the late 1960s,
when I was in college and involved in the anti-draft, Viet Nam War protest
movement, a news article sent me into a tizzy. I was sure this was going to
precipitate World War III. Instead of decamping to Canada, I called my father.
Born in 1907, he saw current events through the lens of personal memories two
world wars. He agreed that the news was troubling but he didn’t see it as a looming
disaster. His words to me were calm and rational, and what stayed with me was
how helpful it was to reason things out with someone who wasn’t wigging out.
The converse is true, too. When I’m reacting strongly to
news (or anything else, for that matter), I fare better when I don’t consult
people who are panic-stricken on that topic.
I also fare better when I remind myself that I am not the
only person in the entire planet responsible for what happens. That my thinking
one way or the other, being frightened or confident, can alter the course of
history. In truth, the only thing it can alter is the quality of my own life. This
sort of magical thinking – that my fears can alter the future – is typical of
children of a certain age, and it rears its ugly head when my own childhood fears
come up. I hope -- and I believe -- that somewhere, there are other adults. This
does not mean that complacency and blind trust are effective strategies for me,
only that I am not alone. I can do my part (write, call my representatives, get
out there on the pavement and demonstrate, and so forth) and then trust that
others are doing the same.
It is as important to my mental well-being to know when to
let go as it is to be inspired to take action. Passivity and helplessness are a
recipe for depression. But not being able to rest, not recognizing my limits, are
equally hazardous. They result in crippling overwork and neglect of my family
and my self. Neither option is healthy.
And if we are to survive – and thrive – in these troubled
times, with reckless military actions and myopic, arrogant leaders – then we
must take excellent care of ourselves. Know our personal vulnerabilities. Talk
to people who help us to think clearly and avoid those who feed our fears. Tend
to our hearts and spirits. Keep all things in balance.
Thank you! This advice is perfect and timely.
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome. We carry one another through difficult, dark times.
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