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| Deborah's attempt to photograph the eclipse |
To begin with, I did not intend to make a journey – a
pilgrimage – to see the May 20 annular solar eclipse. The reason is not that I
am indifferent to such a spectacle, but that for a long time, I have operated
under the principle that if seeing the wonders of the sky – or any other
wonders – involves expense or training or any significant break in the daily
work routine, then I am not entitled to it. I suspect this attitude – what my
husband teasingly refers to as my “poverty consciousness,” stems from being the
child of working class parents who came of age in the Great Depression, and who
as a young person myself rarely had much disposable income. What I did not
understand then, and am coming to understand as I get older, is that life is an
adventure to be lived, not scrimped through. Some years back, I had to make a
choice between returning to school for training that would take all my time and
energy for several years with the end result of earning a modestly comfortable
living, or to keep on at my current day job and being able to write. I had to
ask myself, what is really important? Being able to buy new clothes instead of
picking through thrift stores? Or sailing on my dreams, spinning out the stories
that are in me to tell? I picked the dreams, and I have never regretted that
choice. It changed me, of course, not just the writing but the very realization
that as far as I know, I will only go through this life once. The world and the
heavens are full of mysteries and glory, just waiting for me to look.
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| At Wyoming Infrared Observatory, 2011 |
Studying astronomy had been somewhere on my list. I call it
a “wistful list,” or maybe a “wishful list,” not a “bucket list.” The litany
went, Someday when I have time…but Cabrillo College is a 45 minute drive away…
but the classes are at night and night-time driving in the mountains is
exhausting… but… but…” Then last spring I saw an announcement for Launch Pad
Astronomy Workshop, a one-week intensive course for science fiction writers
held at University of Wyoming Laramie, created and directed by astronomer/sf
writer Mike Brotherton, and funded by NSF. “They’ll never take me,” I thought,
“I write fantasy these days.” But it’s just as important for fantasy (and
horror, and Romance, and thriller, and mystery writers) to get the science
right. So I applied.
They accepted me. I danced around the house, whooping with
delight. That summer, I proceeded to get my brains stuffed with amazing facts
and ways of looking at the universe; I met fantastic writers and scientists,
and shared their passion for exploring – by telescope, space shuttle or
imagination – beyond the borders of our home planet. Every day, my mind was
filled to overflowing with story ideas and incredibly nifty data; at night, we
gazed at the stars for ourselves. If I had not been willing to take that
chance, to say, “Hey, what about me?” then I would have missed out on so much.
Fast forward a year, and I see on the astronomy and science
websites that I now subscribe to that there will be an annual eclipse of the
sun (one in which the occlusion is incomplete, so there remains a “ring of
fire” around a dark central shadow), visible not too far away (but too far to
drive and then return home easily in the same day). The old “poverty
consciousness” voices began their murmuring. Never mind that this is the
closest I’d be able to see a solar eclipse from (or that it doesn’t involve
staying up until 3 am, another bugaboo that assumes more importance as the
decades pass). My neighbor and walking partner said, “I’ve booked a motel room
near Lassen so I can go up and see the eclipse, and I’m looking for someone to
share the room.”
And the world stopped.
She arranged for the motel room. I obtained the solar
eclipse shades. We shared the driving.
Stay tuned for what happened next...
An abbreviated version of this diary series appears in Book View Cafe blog Tuesday, May 22.
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