Relating to my story, I was re-watching Miss Potter (the movie on Beatrix Potter's life) on the weekend, and many of the Lake District scenes were shot at Derwent Water! So, Culverelle and Tordral meet Peter Rabbit and Jemima Puddleduck. That would be quite a story.
"Good morning, Sir Gerald."
"Good morning, Jemima. And what have you and the other ducks been doing lately?"
"Oh bother the other ducks! I'm going on a date, it's so exciting. I met this nice Mr Elf yesterday, and he invited me to dinner. He said to meet him at dusk tonight, and to bring some things to help with the meal. Now what did he say? Bring a baking dish, some parsley, some chives, lots of breadcrumbs, olive oil, orange sauce – oh and an onion, bring a nice onion."
"And where is dinner to be?"
"I don't know, but I'm meeting him at the old footbridge."
"Indeed! Well, here's some advice for you. When you meet Mr Elf, someone behind you just might call out 'Duck!' If that happens, don't turn around and say 'Good evening', just flatten yourself on the path with your wings over your head."
"Good heavens! Whatever for?"
"If you don't, you just might get an arrow through your poke bonnet."
… with apologies to Beatrix Potter.